Iyanla Vanzant Quotes (204) Spiritual Sayings
About the Author: Iyanla Vanzant (born September 13, 1953) is an American inspirational speaker, New Thought spiritual teacher, author, and television personality. She is known primarily for her books, for her eponymous talk show, and for her frequent appearances on The Oprah Winfrey Show. She can currently be seen on television as the host of Iyanla, Fix My Life and as a frequently featured guest teacher of Oprah's Lifeclass on OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network. She attended Medgar Evers College and Virginia Union University. In the year 2000, she was named one of the "100 most influential Black Americans" by Ebony magazine, which said that "Her books, lectures and television appearances have made her a multimedia high priestess of healthy relationships." In 2012, Vanzant was listed at #7 on Watkins' Mind Body Spirit magazine list of the 100 most spiritually influential living people." See website for more info - http://iyanlavanzant.com/
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“Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.”
― Iyanla Vanzant
“The only way to get what you really want is to let go of what you don't want.”
― Iyanla Vanzant
“You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them”
― Iyanla Vanzant, Yesterday, I Cried
“Your willingness to look at your darkness is what empowers you to change.”
― Iyanla Vanzant
“When you need to be loved, you take love wherever you can find it. When you are desperate to be loved, feel love, know love, you seek out what you think love should look like. When you find love, or what you think love is, you will lie, kill, and steal to keep it. But learning about real love comes from within. It cannot be given. It cannot be taken away. It grows from your ability to re-create within yourself, the essence of loving experiences you have had in your life.”
― Iyanla Vanzant
“ Choice is a divine teacher, for when we choose we learn that nothing is ever put in our path without a reason.”
― Iyanla Vanzant
“Remain open. There is something bigger than you know going on here.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, One Day My Soul Just Opened Up: 40 Days and 40 Nights Toward Spiritual Strength and Personal Growth
“You have set standards for how you want to be treated and what you expect from yourself and for yourself.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want
“You can never love anyone to your own detriment. That is not love, that is possession, control, fear, or a combination of them all.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want
“Yesterday, I cried.
I came home, went straight to my room,
sat on the edge of my bed,
kicked off my shoes, unhooked my bra,
and I had myself a good cry.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, Yesterday, I Cried
“One way to eliminate self negating thoughts and behavior is by gaining more understanding through realizing that you cannot force others to see that what you feel is real.”
― Iyanla Vanzant
“If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans.”
― Iyanla Vanzant
“When you have something to do life will not allow you to ove foward until you do it.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, Peace From Broken Pieces: How to Get Through What You're Going Through
“The voice I had accepted as Divine Guidance was actually the voice of my ego leading me right into destruction.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, Peace from Broken Pieces: How to Get Through What You're Going Through
“The road of life is strewn with the bodies of promising people. People who show promise, yet lack the confidence to act. People who make promises they are unable to keep. People who promise to do tomorrow what they could do today. Promising young stars, athletes, entrepreneurs who wait for promises to come true. Promise without a goal and a plan is like a barren cow. You know what she could do if she could do it, but she can't. Turn your promise into a plan. Make no promise for tomorrow if you are able to keep it today. And if someone calls you promising, know that you are not doing enough today.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, Acts of Faith: Daily Meditations for People of Color
“I'd been taught not to like myself,because the people around me didn't, for whatever reason like me.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, Peace from Broken Pieces: How to Get Through What You're Going Through
“In the process of planning and having a wedding, I forgot there would actually be a marriage, a union of minds, bodies, souls, and issues that would come together as soon as the ceremony was over.”
― Iyanla Vanzant, Peace from Broken Pieces: How to Get Through What You're Going Through
“When you can look a thing dead in the eye, acknowledge that it exists, call it exactly what it is, and decide what role it will take in your life then, my Beloved, you have taken the first step toward your freedom.”
― Iyanla Vanzant
“If you are afraid to take a chance, take one anyway. What you don't do can create the same regrets as the mistakes you make.”
― Iyanla Vanzant
“Everyone has a purpose because God is a purposeful God.”
― Iyanla Vanzant
“Before you find out who you are, you have to figure out who you aren't..”
― Iyanla Vanzant
“When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else.”
― Iyanla Vanzant
“Act the way you want to be and soon you will be the way you act.”
― Iyanla Vanzant
“Education does not take place when you learn something you did not know before. Education is your ability to use what you have learned to be better today than you were yesterday.”
― Iyanla Vanzant
“Fear wears so many clever disguises it is virtually impossible to always recognize it. Fear disguises itself as the need to be somewhere else, doing something else, not knowing how to do something or not needing to do something.”
― Iyanla Vanzant
Everything you have done and been through is valuable and important. In order to be who you are, to know what you know, to be where you are in this moment, you needed to go through what you went through.
― Iyanla Vanzant
If you really want to live your life to the fullest and realize your greatest potential, you must be willing to run the risk of making some people mad. People may not like what you do, people may not like how you do it, but these people are not living your life. You are!
― Iyanla Vanzant
Release and detach from every person, every circumstance, every condition, and every situation that no longer serves a divine purpose in your life. All things have a season, and all seasons must come to an end. Choose a new season, filled with purposeful thoughts and activities.
― Iyanla Vanzant
The highest form of praise you can offer to yourself, to God and to the world is to spend time each day expressing gratitude. It says to God that you are aware and appreciative of grace. It says to life that you are acknowledging its awesome presence in you. It says to yourself that you are worth the time it takes to be healed. Time spent in silence, contemplation and gratitude is time spent in devotion to a higher calling and a more loving state of being.
― Iyanla Vanzant
People have a right to change their minds and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. People change. As people change, their needs change. When people have a need, it is their responsibility to themselves to see their needs are met. And it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
― Iyanla Vanzant
You cannot make your life move faster than it's moving. No matter how urgent your situation may seem to be, things are going to happen when they happen, not a minute sooner. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with others. Be patient with life. Patience always pays off.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Self-worth is an understanding on the intellectual level, trusting at the heart level, and accepting at the soul level that you are worthy just because you believe that you are. Your worthiness is proven by your existence. Your breathing. The beating of your heart. Your mere presence is all that is needed to establish your worth.
― Iyanla Vanzant
It takes a lot more courage to let something go than it does to hang on to it, trying to make it better. Letting go doesn't mean ignoring a situation. Letting go means accepting what is, exactly as it is, without fear, resistance, or a struggle for control.
― Iyanla Vanzant
We set the standard of how we want to be treated. Our relationships are reflections of the relationships we have with ourselves.
― Iyanla Vanzant
If someone has offended you, insulted you, or disappointed you, let it go! If you are remembering all the ways you have been hurt or forgotten, let it go! Ask yourself, what good does it do for me to hold on to this?
― Iyanla Vanzant
Your willingness to look at your darkness is what empowers you to change
― Iyanla Vanzant
If you should encounter angry or unkind actions today, take a deep breath, reach deep within and greet the lack of love with love.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Nothing destroys self-worth, self-acceptance and self-love faster than denying what you feel. Without feelings, you would not know where you are in life. Nor would you know what areas you need to work on. Honor your feelings. Allow yourself to feel them.
― Iyanla Vanzant
You have to meet people where they are, and sometimes you have to leave them there.
― Iyanla Vanzant
No matter what is going on in your life today, remember, it is only preparation. People come and go; situations rise and fall; it's all preparation for better things. You must stretch, reach, grow into your goodness. Without the preparation we receive through adversity, disappointment, confusion, or pain, we could not appreciate the goodness when it arrives.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Gratitude is like a magnet; the more grateful you are, the more you will receive to be grateful for.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Challenges come so we can grow and be prepared for things we are not equipped to handle now.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Crying purifies and cleanses. I once read about a scientific experiment which demonstrated that there are 38 toxic chemicals in a tear of sadness, while only one toxin exists in a tear of joy. As you cry in sadness, fear, or confusion, you cleanse the body and spirit of toxins which cloud the mind and prevent it from accepting the truth.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Acceptance means that you know, regardless of what happened, that there is something bigger than you at work. It also means you know that you are okay and that you will continue to be okay.
― Iyanla Vanzant
You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Affirm: I now willingly release all negative beliefs about myself, my life and all other people. I now forgive myself for thinking I ever did anything wrong. I am now filled with the love and the Power that I am. For this I am so grateful! And so it is!
― Iyanla Vanzant
Talk about your negative experiences with the father, with your girlfriends. Not with your children. And bite your tongue when it comes to diminishing, denying, dismissing, name-calling.
― Iyanla Vanzant
I hope that my story, I hope that my life is... an encouragement for people, especially in Brooklyn. I feel humbled and blessed.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Forgiveness is a process of giving up the old for something new. Old experiences and memories that we hold on to in anger, resentment, shame, or guilt cloud our spirit mind. The truth is, everything that has happened had to happen. It was a growth experience. There was something you needed to know or learn. If you stay angry, hurt, afraid, ashamed, or guilty, you miss the lesson. You will be stuck in a cloud of pain.
― Iyanla Vanzant
It's important that we share our experiences with other people. Your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else. When you tell your story, you free yourself and give other people permission to acknowledge their own story
― Iyanla Vanzant
Criticism does not make you smarter or better than the one you are criticizing. In fact, the stuff you are critical of in others is the same stuff you don't like about yourself.
― Iyanla Vanzant
No storm can last forever. It will never rain 365 days consecutively. Keep in mind that trouble comes to pass, not to stay. Don't worry! No storm, not even the one in your life, can last forever.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Change doesn't have to be hard, and healing doesn't have to hurt. Surely by now you know that every thing happens for a reason! There is something better awaiting you on the other side of this.
― Iyanla Vanzant
When two broken people bring their broken pieces together, chances are they will never become a whole anything.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Listen for the instruction, instead of begging for the direction.
― Iyanla Vanzant
If you don't ask for what you need, the need will keep getting bigger.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Be patient when it seems things are not going right and may never be right again. Accept that what is yours will come to you in the right way at just the right moment.
― Iyanla Vanzant
When the time comes for you to make a change or to grow, the universe will make you so uncomfortable you will eventually have no choice.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Every day is your day if you claim it. If you wait for somebody else to make it for you, you're going to be disappointed.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Before you find out who you are, you have to figure out who you aren't..
― Iyanla Vanzant
Family is supposed to be our safe haven. Very often, it's the place where we find the deepest heartache.
― Iyanla Vanzant
You must be willing to examine and explore your dark side. You must acknowledge how bad you can be and how horribly unloving you can behave. When you know how deep and dark your dark side is, it helps you stand a little taller in the light.
― Iyanla Vanzant
You set the standards for how you will be treated. People will treat you the exact way you treat yourself. So be good to you. Take time for yourself. Rest. Play. Shower yourself with affection, support, and gifts.
― Iyanla Vanzant
When was the last time you thanked you for always being there for you? Self appreciation soothes an aching soul.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Do not be afraid to experience your emotions; they are the path to your soul. Emotions erupt to remind us we are alive, that we are human. And to let us know we are growing. Trust yourself enough to feel what you feel.
― Iyanla Vanzant
You must earn what you have. Life does not give you anything. You must give in order to get. You must stand up to the very thing that challenges you, look it in the face, get clear about your intention, order your thoughts and your life, and proceed without fear or hesitation. Life is not unfair. Along the way, you will always find bits of information and support to guide you to purpose.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Be patient with yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Know that all things are working in your favor. If you take one step toward the light of Spirit, Spirit will take five steps on your behalf.
― Iyanla Vanzant
The ego encourages you to constantly prove yourself and what you already know. When you are in the presence of someone you feel the need to impress, the ego's automatic response is 'I know.' The moment you say 'I know,' you are demonstrating that you don't know. You can learn something valuable from everyone, in every situation.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Perhaps you went to bed last night thinking about the overdue bills, the lack of finances, the problematic people and situations you have to face. This morning you woke up. Did you give thanks? If you didn't, it is probably because you forgot that when praise goes up, the blessings come down. That should be enough to inspire you to be thankful.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Life doesn't actually knock you down. It does, however, provide you with many opportunities to evaluate your standing in life: what you stand on, what you stand for, how you stand within yourself and for yourself.
― Iyanla Vanzant
When you're the strong one, people don't give you permission to hurt.
― Iyanla Vanzant
We can think, speak, and bring the best possible outcome into existence by focusing on where we are going, not on where we think we are.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Right where you are is where you need to be. Don't fight it! Don't run away from it! Stand firm! Take a deep breath. And another. And another. Now, ask yourself: Why is this in my world? What do I need to see?
― Iyanla Vanzant
Breathing deeply and releasing fear will help you get to where you want to be.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Anger is a little thing. Hate is a little thing. Order is a little thing. Each of these little things has a major impact on the big picture. Right thinking, right action, and right response to the little things will help us conquer the big things, like injustice, inequality, poverty, and disorder. Until we are each able to conquer and master the little things in our lives, the big things will remain undone.
― Iyanla Vanzant
When you give to others to the degree that you sacrifice yourself, you make the other person a thief.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Everything we experience-no matter how unpleasant-comes into our lives to teach us something.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Spiritual consciousness does not make your problems go away; it does, however, help you view them from a different vantage point.
― Iyanla Vanzant
We make our days pleasant or miserable. If we insist on being miserable, irritable and nasty, more than likely the day will give us exactly what we give it. A day is too valuable to waste on misery and unhappiness.
― Iyanla Vanzant
When you make a decision and a commitment to do something good for yourself, it is like dropping a pebble in a pond. It has a rippling effect. The firmer the decision, the stronger the frequency and wider the range of things that will be reached.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Comparison is an act of violence against the self.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Everything that's happening in our world is a function of what is going on inside of people. We are violent in our minds. We are violent with one another. We walk past one another in the street and don't even look nor make eye contact - don't speak. We can be outraged about the missiles and the planes. I'm more outraged that somebody will walk past me in the street and not look me in the face and say good morning.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Be aware that who you are and what you have to offer can be a beacon to some lost soul.
― Iyanla Vanzant
The only thing that goes on in your life is what your allow to go on in your life
― Iyanla Vanzant
When you need to be loved, you take love wherever you can find it. When you are desperate to be loved, feel love, know love, you seek out what you think love should look like. When you find love, or what you think love is, you will lie, kill, and steal to keep it. But learning about real love comes from within. It cannot be given. It cannot be taken away. It grows from your ability to re-create within yourself, the essence of loving experiences you have had in your life.
― Iyanla Vanzant
If you don't have a vision you're going to be stuck in what you know. And the only thing you know is what you've already seen.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Sitting alone, listening to the sound of your breath, the beating of your heart is a reminder that you are sacred and blessed.
― Iyanla Vanzant
You have a right to your thoughts and feelings. Your feelings are always valid.
― Iyanla Vanzant
There comes a point in time when you must know that everything you have already given or done is enough. This is not something anyone else can tell you. You must know. Giving without receiving doesn't prove anything except that you know how to be taken advantage of.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Most of us know exactly what it is that creates the pain, confusion, stagnation and disruption in our lives. When we find something or someone creating in our lives that which we do not want, we must muster the courage and strength to stop it.
― Iyanla Vanzant
If you heart had a voice, Beloved, what would it say?
― Iyanla Vanzant
Forgive yourself for believing that youre anything less than beautiful.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Comparing yourself to others is an act of violence against your authentic self.
― Iyanla Vanzant
We must each learn to feel comfortable in our own uniqueness by rising above the fear of being wrong and the aversion to being different.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Your greatest adversary is also your greatest teacher. Like it or not, it is the job of certain people to bring out the worst in you. What they trigger is already in you. They are here to reveal the sore, tender wounded places in your heart and mind, and they are providing you with a wonderful and divine opportunity for healing.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Begin within. If it shows up in your life, it's coming to tell you something about you that you're acting like you don't know. Something about yourself, or your relationship with God.
― Iyanla Vanzant
You are the love you seek. You are the companionship you desire. You are your own completion, your own wholeness. You are your best friend, your confidant. 'You are,' as poetess Audre Lourde wrote, 'the one that you are looking for.' You are the only one who can do what you are looking for someone else to do.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Stop hiding! Stop holding yourself back and playing yourself down! Stop worrying about how you look and what people are saying. Stop listening to what people are saying and trying to find out if they are whispering about you. Stop waiting for someone to tell you that you are okay or to make you feel special. Life is special! It is a special gift. This is your life! Now take your gift and live it out in the open! Decide today that you are going to live out loud!
― Iyanla Vanzant
I am now willing to forgive myself . . . for believing I could offer something to others before I have offered it to myself.
― Iyanla Vanzant
One of the greatest challenges in creating a joyful, peaceful and abundant life is taking responsibility for what you do and how you do it. As long as you can blame someone else, be angry with someone else, point the finger at someone else, you are not taking responsibility for your life.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Many of us have a need to be right. We then set out to make ourselves right by making someone else wrong. We must get right with ourselves. Once we do, we will have so much to do, we will not have time to keep track of who is wrong.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Lives fall apart when they need to be rebuilt.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Changing your life does not always mean that you stop doing certain things. It may mean that you start doing certain other things. What you really want to do is nurture the attitude that you are open to learning more about yourself. Accepting more about yourself. This is what will inspire you to do something new.
― Iyanla Vanzant
You've got to be willing to lose everything to gain yourself.
― Iyanla Vanzant
When you know something or someone in your life is unhealthy or unproductive, that you have grown beyond where they are and where they want to keep you, you must let go. If you tell yourself you do not see it when you do, or if you tell yourself it will get better, you are not being honest with yourself. Stop trying to fix things or change things. Simply let go.
― Iyanla Vanzant
As you move through the day, be aware of how you treat yourself. Be aware of what you do to and for yourself, because you set the standard for others. As you grow in your awareness of how you treat yourself, you will probably become aware of the example you have set for others. You may realize that the time has come to set a new example.
― Iyanla Vanzant
To honor life, we must be willing to grow through what we don't know yet, and outgrow what we know no longer fits us. We must be willing to give in to the process, moment by moment, realizing a new plot may be unfolding.
― Iyanla Vanzant
You can't do anything as long as you are afraid of what might happen. Fear clouds opportunities, erases possibilities, and limits the ability to move beyond the place in which the mind is stuck. No matter how difficult we think the problem is, we must muster up the courage to face it.
― Iyanla Vanzant
When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed.
― Iyanla Vanzant
When you really believe that you are worthy of the best, that you deserve the best & that there is enough of the best for you to have plenty, there will be no need for you to hold on to what you have. Allow yourself to imagine what your life would be like if your hands and heart were to receive something better than what you are holding onto right now.
― Iyanla Vanzant
At every single moment, we are given the opportunity to choose our future. What we do today will determine what we face next week, next month, or next year. It is at the moment of a particular occurrence that we are called upon to make a choice: Will I do it the way I've always done it, or will I do it a different way.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Loving yourself has nothing to do with being selfish, self-centered or self-engrossed. It means that you accept yourself for what you are. Loving yourself means that you accept responsibility for your own development, growth and happiness.
― Iyanla Vanzant
It's time for you to move, realizing that the thing you are seeking is also seeking you.
― Iyanla Vanzant
You can never love anyone to your own detriment. That is not love, that is possession, control, fear, or a combination of them all.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Abundance is a direct reflection of your preparation to live abundantly. People who are ready for abundance keep their heads up, their eyes open and give thanks for everything they get.
― Iyanla Vanzant
We gotta be willing to seek direction ... we've gotta be willing to look within.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Have the courage to be exactly who you are without apology. Admit your mistakes without beating yourself up. Release all shame! Release all guilt! You cannot live if you are hiding behind what was. Focus on what is, right now, and that is you!
― Iyanla Vanzant
Why do we hold onto negativity? For some reason, we believe that others are affected by our experience of remaining upset, hurt or angry. Holding on to pain, anger, guilt or shame is the glue that binds us to the situation we want to escape.
― Iyanla Vanzant
I am just an ordinary person committed to doing extraordinary things.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Just give yourself permission to tell the truth to yourself.
― Iyanla Vanzant
There is nothing you need to do to make yourself more acceptable to God. You don't have to work harder, nor do you need to change the kind of work you do. You don't have to give more money to charitable organizations. The reality is, God doesn't want you to give anyone anything if you only do it to impress God! God does not love you or find you acceptable because of anything that you do. God loves you and accepts you because you are a part of God.
― Iyanla Vanzant
What do you do when it seems as if people want to stay in their pain. They have a story to tell and they tell you every chance they get. Well, believe it or not, they may like where they are. Our job is to leave them there. You can point the way out of pain, but you cannot force them to get out. You can support the move beyond their limitations, but you cannot make the move for them.
― Iyanla Vanzant
People may not like what you do, people may not like how you do it, but these people are not living your life. You are!
― Iyanla Vanzant
Spirit is the key to everything we desire. It is our weather-proofing, our Teflon, our line of credit that assures if we just keep putting one foot in front of the other, one day; there will be a miraculous payoff.
― Iyanla Vanzant
When someone entrusts their heart to you they are giving you a piece of their soul. You cannot treat the soul casually. You must protect, nurture and handle it with care.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Step into this moment, because it is the only one you have right now. It is not wasted or thrown away. The divine opportunity could be stolen unless you tell yourself it is here right now; available to you this moment, to make of it anything you choose. Why not choose this moment, right now, to be available to yourself by declaring, I AM GOOD! . . . . The richness of the present is here. The fullness of now is present. If you are not here now, it means you could be missing the love, joy, peace and brand-new ideas that are here right now.
― Iyanla Vanzant
When we pray, it opens our minds to the divine consciousness of God. Prayer opens your mind to answers that have always been present.
― Iyanla Vanzant
And perhaps you thought, "Because I'm doing so much spiritual work, I'm only going to attract angels." No! The more spiritual work you do, the more darkness you attract. Because the light don't need more light. The darkness needs light! The light doesn't need more light.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Transformation doesn't have to be deep, dark and mysterious. If you screw up, fine - laugh at yourself, learn and move on.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Just for today, allow yourself to embrace all that you are every moment. Know that you are a vessel of light. Allow yourself to release all doubts about your ability, the mistakes of the past, the fear of the future.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Regardless of how hard, challenging, frightening, or difficult an experience may seem, everything is just as it needs to be in order for us to heal, grow, and learn.
― Iyanla Vanzant
You are the light of the world. You are an instrument of the Divine. You are the greatest miracle in the world. Life is graced by your presence.
― Iyanla Vanzant
When a thing has served its purpose, it will go away. Sometimes it will break. At other times, it will simply die off. Then, there are those times when for no reason, it will simply fall apart. If you try to hold on to something that has already fulfilled its purpose in your life, you are going to hurt yourself. If holding on is disturbing your peace of mind, it makes sense to let it go.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Everyone is always looking for their beloved. Well, why can't you be your own beloved? Fall in love with yourself.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Without the a test you don't have a testimony.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Sooner or later, we must all accept the fact that in a relationship, the only person you are dealing with is yourself.
― Iyanla Vanzant
You are demonstrating to men that they can come back and get their kids. All of those fatherless sons and daddy-less daughters and the men who didn't know how to go back, you are demonstrating to the world that they can.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Joy is what we are, not what we must get. Joy is the realization that all we want or need in life has been etched into our souls. Joy helps us see not what we are "going through," but what we are "growing to"-a greater sense of understanding, accomplishment, and enlightenment. Joy reveals to us the calm at the end of the storm, the peace that surpasses the momentary happiness of pleasure. If we keep our minds centered on joy, joy becomes a state of mind.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Staying focused on a project or plan is one of the most difficult challenges we face. There is always the house to clean, calls to make, laundry to fold, deadlines to meet. Actually, there is only one thing that keeps us from our goals - lack of focus. And very often, lack of focus is caused by fear.
― Iyanla Vanzant
We go into a relationship looking for love, not realizing that we must bring love with us. We must bring a strong sense of self and purpose into a relationship. We must bring a sense of value, of who we are. We must bring an excitement about ourselves, our lives, and the vision we have for these two essential elements. We must bring a respect for wealth and abundance. Having achieved it to some satisfactory degree on our own, we must move into relationships willing to share what we have, rather than being afraid of someone taking it.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Forgive yourself for believing things about yourself that are not true. Forgive yourself for believing that you were anything other than a child of God. Then, after forgiving yourself for believing the things you were told, forgive the people who told you. Forgive them not for what they said or did. Forgive them because they did not know any better.
― Iyanla Vanzant
You must be willing to give total unconditional love to everyone, under all circumstances. That means being willing to be totally responsible for what you do and how you do it.
― Iyanla Vanzant
The process of life is ever unfolding, guiding you, pushing you, preparing you for the next part of the process. Difficult challenges, bad days, upset feelings, moments of confusion are part of life's process. Perhaps these things are there to keep us alert, to make us stronger, or to test our resolve to keep moving forward.
― Iyanla Vanzant
We all want to be liked, loved, or needed. That is fine. What is not fine is what we are willing to do to make sure we are liked, or loved or needed. When we make the needs and wants of others a priority in our lives, we devalue ourselves.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Everybody does not have to like you. That is not their job. Liking you is not anyone's purpose in life except yours.
― Iyanla Vanzant
When do you feel most loved? Are you willing to be loved today? Self-love is the magnet that attracts deep and profound expressions of love from others
― Iyanla Vanzant
Feminine power is silent, dark, mysterious, healing, nurturing. A woman can walk into a room and control it. She doesn't even have to open her mouth if she knows where her power is.
― Iyanla Vanzant
When you can look a thing dead in the eye, acknowledge that it exists, call it exactly what it is, and decide what role it will take in your life then, my Beloved, you have taken the first step toward your freedom.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Today, I choose awareness. I choose to be aware of the beauty of life and living. I choose to be aware of the simple pleasures in life. I choose awareness of joy, awareness of peace, and awareness of love.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Anything that threatens, hinders, obstructs, denies, delays your capacity to stand fully up for yourself, within yourself, take it down.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Each of us face a moment in our lives called 'the breakdown moment.' This is the time when you must stand toe to toe, eyeball to eyeball, with the very thing you have tried desperately to avoid. In that moment, when there is nothing standing between you and the thing you fear the most, you will be forced to step into your greatness, because that is what life is demanding of you.
― Iyanla Vanzant
In order to feel loved, be respected and stay connected, we humans have a tendency to lie. We lie about who we are, what we want, what we need, what we have done or will do. Perhaps 'lie' is too strong a word. Let me say that what we do is withhold the truth.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Each day, focus your attention on what you want. Each day, take one step that will bring you closer to it. ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! The key is to identify it, claim it for yourself, and believe that you are worthy to have it.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Your divine mate already exists. When you get to the place in yourself that is peaceful divine love, your true mate will be revealed.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Challenges come so we can grow and be prepared for things we are not equipped to handle now. When we face our challenges with faith, prepared to learn, willing to make changes, and if necessary, to let go, we are demanding our power be turned on.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Who you are is strong enough to bare your pain
― Iyanla Vanzant
When we believe we are losing control, we grab on tight. When our greatest fear comes upon us, we clench our fist and teeth, close our eyes and hold on. We must learn how to let go. When the time comes for growth and change, we must have the courage and faith to let go. Whatever leaves my life makes room for something better.
― Iyanla Vanzant
When there is breakdown in a relationship, you must have the hard conversation. It may not be pretty and it may not feel good. But if you are willing to listen and tell the truth, it will open
up.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Have you doubted your progress, regretted your choices, put yourself down? Remember that you are doing just fine. Remind yourself right now that no matter what it looks like, you are doing the best you can. And getting better. Encourage yourself, support yourself, and celebrate every little thing about yourself.
― Iyanla Vanzant
I am the one I have been looking for.
― Iyanla Vanzant
THE KEY TO SUCCESS is not what you do, it is how you feel about what you are doing. Success begins with a positive attitude, it is the most valuable asset we may own. Success begins with a good feeling about where we are and a positive attitude about where we want to be.
― Iyanla Vanzant
There are times when we do not recognize that it is time for us to move forward. When life is ready for us to move and we resist, life will move us by any means necessary. What may feel like a disaster is actually a graduation. Remain open to being guided, supported and protected by the universe.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Set an intention to heal any unexpressed anger that may be present in your life. Go to a quiet place with pen and paper. Take a few deep breaths. Ask your anger to speak to you. Write down the thoughts and feelings. When you are finished, forgive yourself for holding on to the anger for so long.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Choice is a divine teacher, for when we choose we learn that nothing is ever put in our path without a reason.
― Iyanla Vanzant
What keeps us from achieving our heart's desires is not anything outside of us, it's the conflict inside.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Education does not take place when you learn something you did not know before. Education is your ability to use what you have learned to be better today than you were yesterday.
― Iyanla Vanzant
You have set standards for how you want to be treated and what you expect from yourself and for yourself.
― Iyanla Vanzant
In the process of planning and having a wedding, I forgot there would actually be a marriage, a union of minds, bodies, souls, and issues that would come together as soon as the ceremony was over.
― Iyanla Vanzant
In my deepest, darkest moments, what really got me through was a prayer. Sometimes my prayer was 'Help me.' Sometimes a prayer was 'Thank you.' What I've discovered is that intimate connection and communication with my creator will always get me through because I know my support, my help, is just a prayer away.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Accept all invitations to do a new thing. Dare not limit yourself. Move toward your wildest # dream , take the labels off your mind, and step boldly into your greatness.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Forgive everybody for everything. Just forgive and start - most of us can't start with ourselves. We have to forgive the people we think did things to us. So that's fine. Start there - wherever. Start with the dog who peed on the rug. I don't care where you start, just do it.
― Iyanla Vanzant
The goal of life is not to win. It is to play the game with love. The rules of the game are: have a strong desire to win, believe that you are worthy of winning, have faith that you will win, and, as long as you are alive, never believe that the game is over.
― Iyanla Vanzant
You can't just cry about the pain. You can't just pray about the pain. You must eliminate the pain.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Give yourself permission to smile a lot today. In fact, why not make it a habit!
― Iyanla Vanzant
It’s self-full to be first, to be as good as possible to you. To take care of you, keep you whole and healthy. That doesn’t mean you disregard everything and everyone. But you want to come with your cup full. You know: ‘My cup runneth over.’ What comes out of the cup is for y’all. What’s in the cup is mine. But I’ve got to keep my cup full.
― Iyanla Vanzant
One of the ways that people avoid taking responsibility for their role in their own pain is what I call the BPs - blame and projection.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Everything is just as it needs to be. And if we would forgive, our minds and hearts would open and we could see another possibility.
― Iyanla Vanzant
When you continue to give without receiving, the only thing you are proving is that you know how to be taken advantage of.
― Iyanla Vanzant
From where you sit, it may seem that certain people should know better. People are who they are and do what they do whether or not you like it or agree with them. We each have different lessons to learn. We each take a different path to our lessons.
― Iyanla Vanzant
When we have peace in our hearts and minds, we draw peace into our lives.
― Iyanla Vanzant
We're all in prison. All of us are in prison, but some of us have a key.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Be willing to share all of who you are. So many of us want a partner, but we're not willing to show all of us. That's why we have a weave, we're wearing Spanx and everything is 'fine.' If you're not willing to let your partner see your cellulite or know your biggest fears, then you aren't really ready to share yourself...
― Iyanla Vanzant
Until you are willing to accept total and complete responsibility for every aspect of your life, your life will keep sending you experiences designed to get your attention.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed
― Iyanla Vanzant
Spirituality is not about what you know. It is about growing, deepening, evolving and becoming a living reflection of your spiritual identity.
― Iyanla Vanzant
I let go of the past and choose to accept every situation as being for me and not against me.
― Iyanla Vanzant
If it's not your story to tell, you don't tell it.
― Iyanla Vanzant
People are hurting. People are suffering. But you can not get everywhere.
― Iyanla Vanzant
You must be ready in mind, body, and spirit before you can make a change. People cannot convince you to do it. You cannot force you to do it. Everything you think, say, and do until that happens is just preparation. So love yourself right now. Honor yourself. Keep talking to yourself. Keep thinking ready thoughts. In the meantime, try to remember you will not be ready until you are ready.
― Iyanla Vanzant
When you are open to receive what God is able to do for you, you stop doing. You learn how to "Be still and know!" You know that your good is on the way, according to God's nature and willingness to give. You also put your faith in the fact that God is always on time.
― Iyanla Vanzant
One thing that prevents a man from being a good father is he hasn't completed being a boy.
― Iyanla Vanzant
When your life is working there will be an absence of drama
― Iyanla Vanzant
Accept and acknowledge your own brilliance. Stop waiting for others to tell you how great you are! Believe it for yourself and about yourself.
― Iyanla Vanzant
I pray because I am real clear that what I am doing and how I am doing it is my service, is my ministry, and so I want to be in perfect alignment with my creator. I do not care who you are. If I do not get the okay on the inside, you will not be showing up on the outside.
― Iyanla Vanzant
I have a daily message, 'Stimumail,' which I use to stimulate the mind and heart. I have the opportunity to touch over 60,000 people I have never met. I also use Twitter and Facebook.
― Iyanla Vanzant
Rather than beating yourself up for what you are not doing, appreciate and celebrate the things you are doing. When you shift your focus away from what you do not want, you can create a vision for what you do. Don't fight with yourself - focus on what you do, can do, choose to do, are ready to do.
― Iyanla Vanzant
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