Mark Twain Quotes (200) Spiritual Sayings
About the Author: Samuel Langhorne Clemens (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910), better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American author and humorist. He is most noted for his novel The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876) and its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1885), the latter often called "the Great American Novel." He achieved great success as a writer and public speaker. His wit and satire earned praise from critics and peers, and he was a friend to presidents, artists, industrialists, and European royalty. Twain was born during a visit by Halley's Comet, and he predicted that he would "go out with it," too. He died the day following the comet's subsequent return. He was lauded as the "greatest American humorist of his age," and William Faulkner called Twain "the father of American literature." See website for more info - http://www.cmgww.com/historic/twain/
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“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”
― Mark Twain
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“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
― Mark Twain
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“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well".
From: "More Maxims of Mark”
― Mark Twain
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“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”
― Mark Twain
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“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”
― Mark Twain
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“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”
― Mark Twain
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“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”
― Mark Twain
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“Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.”
― Mark Twain
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“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.”
― Mark Twain
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“Classic' - a book which people praise and don't read.”
― Mark Twain
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“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”
― Mark Twain
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“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
― Mark Twain
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“In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in all the books through your skin, without even opening them.”
― Mark Twain
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“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”
― Mark Twain
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“Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”
― Mark Twain
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“I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.”
― Mark Twain
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“Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.”
― Mark Twain
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“Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”
― Mark Twain
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“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.”
― Mark Twain, The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain
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“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.”
― Mark Twain
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“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”
― Mark Twain
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“Life is short, Break the Rules.
Forgive quickly, Kiss SLOWLY.
Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably
And never regret ANYTHING
That makes you smile.”
― Mark Twain
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“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”
― Mark Twain
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“Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.”
― Mark Twain
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“Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.”
― Mark Twain
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“What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.”
― Mark Twain
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“Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”
― Mark Twain
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“The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.”
― Mark Twain
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“Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.”
― Mark Twain
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“If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.”
― Mark Twain
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“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.”
― Mark Twain
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“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”
― Mark Twain
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“Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.”
― Mark Twain
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“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.”
― Mark Twain
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“I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
― Mark Twain
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“It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.”
― Mark Twain
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“The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.”
― Mark Twain
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“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.”
― Mark Twain, The Innocents Abroad/Roughing It
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“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”
― Mark Twain
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“Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.”
― Mark Twain
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“Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.”
― Mark Twain
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“The secret to getting ahead is getting started.”
― Mark Twain
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“Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.”
― Mark Twain
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“April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson and Other Tales
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“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”
― Mark Twain
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“A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.”
― Mark Twain
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“Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”
― Mark Twain
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“History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme.”
― Mark Twain
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“I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!”
― Mark Twain
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“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. ”
― Mark Twain
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“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”
― Mark Twain
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“Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.”
― Mark Twain
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“Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.”
― Mark Twain
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“I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.”
― Mark Twain
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“If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.”
― Mark Twain
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“The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.”
― Mark Twain
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“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”
― Mark Twain
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“When angry, count four. When very angry, swear.”
― Mark Twain
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“Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.”
― Mark Twain
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“When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”
― Mark Twain
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“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.”
― Mark Twain
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“I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”
― Mark Twain, Tom Sawyer Abroad
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“Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”
― Mark Twain
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“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
― Mark Twain
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“The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.”
― Mark Twain
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“Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.”
― Mark Twain
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“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.”
― Mark Twain
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“You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”
― Mark Twain, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
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“Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”
― Mark Twain
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“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
― Mark Twain
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“It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.”
― Mark Twain
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“Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.”
― Mark Twain, Notebook
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“I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.”
― Mark Twain
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“In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.”
― Mark Twain
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“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.”
― Mark Twain
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“A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was gitting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn't ever going to grow dim or doubtful.”
― Mark Twain, Tom Sawyer Abroad
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“There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.”
― Mark Twain
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“Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living.”
― Mark Twain, Notebook
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“The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's.”
― Mark Twain
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“My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.”
― Mark Twain, Notebook
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“Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightening that does the work.”
― Mark Twain
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“Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.”
― Mark Twain
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“There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.”
― Mark Twain
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“It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.”
― Mark Twain
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“Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.”
― Mark Twain
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“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson
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“Everyone talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it.”
― Mark Twain
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“All right, then, I'll go to hell.”
― Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
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“Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.”
― Mark Twain
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“Reality can be beaten with enough imagination.”
― Mark Twain
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“The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.”
― Mark Twain
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“Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. ”
― Mark Twain
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“Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.”
― Mark Twain
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“There's one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he's crooked.”
― Mark Twain
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“When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.”
― Mark Twain, Notebook
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“Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”
― Mark Twain
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“Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.”
― Mark Twain, Life on the Mississippi
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“A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.”
― Mark Twain
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“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?”
― Mark Twain
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“Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.”
― Mark Twain
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“The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.”
― Mark Twain
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“When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.”
― Mark Twain
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“Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.”
― Mark Twain
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“Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts or happenings. It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever flowing through one's head.”
― Mark Twain
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“Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
― Mark Twain
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“Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.”
― Mark Twain
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“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
― Mark Twain
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“I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened”
― Mark Twain
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“Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.”
― Mark Twain
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“Unconsciously we all have a standard by which we measure other men, and if we examine closely we find that this standard is a very simple one, and is this: we admire them, we envy them, for great qualities we ourselves lack. Hero worship consists in just that. Our heroes are men who do things which we recognize, with regret, and sometimes with a secret shame, that we cannot do. We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else. If everybody was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes.”
― Mark Twain
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“Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”
― Mark Twain
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“The government is merely a servant -- merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.”
― Mark Twain
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“Don't wake up a woman in love. Let her dream, so that she does not weep when she returns to her bitter reality”
― Mark Twain
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“There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and
shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you
know ain't so'.”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson
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“The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.”
― Mark Twain
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“A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.”
― Mark Twain
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“Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.
BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR
per
G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE”
― Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huck Finn
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“Be good and you will be lonesome.”
― Mark Twain, Following the Equator: A Journey Around the World
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“Write without pay until somebody offers to pay.”
― Mark Twain
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“A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.”
― Mark Twain
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“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
― Mark Twain
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“I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.”
― Mark Twain
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“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
― Mark Twain
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“We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents.”
― Mark Twain
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“Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.”
― Mark Twain
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“Familiarity breeds contempt and children.”
― Mark Twain
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“Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessaries.”
― Mark Twain
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“I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English - it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don't let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in. When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them - then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are wide apart. An adjective habit, or a wordy, diffuse, flowery habit, once fastened upon a person, is as hard to get rid of as any other vice.”
― Mark Twain
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“When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books, for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved.”
― Mark Twain, The Prince and the Pauper
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“The lack of money is the root of all evil.”
― Mark Twain
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“Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with.”
― Mark Twain
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“It usually takes me two or three days to prepare an impromptu speech.”
― Mark Twain
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“Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.”
― Mark Twain
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“It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.”
― Mark Twain
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“Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any.”
― Mark Twain, The Wit and Wisdom of Mark Twain
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“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.”
― Mark Twain
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“When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.”
― Mark Twain
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“It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt”
― Mark Twain
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“Write what you know.”
― Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer/Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
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“The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it he knows too little.”
― Mark Twain
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“I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.”
― Mark Twain
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“I know the look of an apple that is roasting and sizzling on the hearth on a winter's evening, and I know the comfort that comes of eating it hot, along with some sugar and a drench of cream... I know how the nuts taken in conjunction with winter apples, cider, and doughnuts, make old people's tales and old jokes sound fresh and crisp and enchanting.”
― Mark Twain
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“A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't.”
― Mark Twain
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“That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it.”
― Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
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“Distance lends enchantment to the view.”
― Mark Twain
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“A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?”
― Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson
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“The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot.”
― Mark Twain, What Is Man?
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“There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.”
― Mark Twain
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“Let us consider that we are all partially insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles; it will make clear and simple many things which are involved in haunting and harassing difficulties and obscurities now.”
― Mark Twain
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“Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are pliable.”
― Mark Twain
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“The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopt.”
― Mark Twain
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“Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion.”
― Mark Twain
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“Great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.”
― Mark Twain
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“Drag your thoughts away
from your troubles...
by the ears, by the heels,
or any other way you can manage it.”
― Mark Twain
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“No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.”
― Mark Twain
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“There is nothing so annoying as having two people talking when you're busy interrupting.”
― Mark Twain
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“for business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity.”
― Mark Twain
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“It is easier to stay out than to get out.”
― Mark Twain
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“There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer them, or turn them into literature.”
― Mark Twain
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“The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.”
― Mark Twain
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“A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.”
― Mark Twain
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“There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.”
― Mark Twain
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“One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.”
― Mark Twain
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“The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor: he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.”
― Mark Twain
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“Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.”
― Mark Twain, The Mysterious Stranger and Other Curious Tales
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“What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself. All day long, the mill of his brain is grinding, and his thoughts, not those of other things, are his history. These are his life, and they are not written. Everyday would make a whole book of 80,000 words -- 365 books a year. Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man -- the biography of the man himself cannot be written.”
― Mark Twain
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“Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.”
― Mark Twain
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“When we think of friends, and call their faces out of the shadows, and their voices out of the echoes that faint along the corridors of memory, and do it without knowing why save that we love to do it, we content ourselves that that friendship is a Reality, and not a Fancy--that it is builded upon a rock, and not upon the sands that dissolve away with the ebbing tides and carry their monuments with them.”
― Mark Twain
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“In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.”
― Mark Twain, The Innocents Abroad
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“If books are not good company, where shall I find it?”
― Mark Twain
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“Wheresoever she was, there was Eden.”
― Mark Twain, The Diary of Adam and Eve
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“When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man much respects himself.”
― Mark Twain
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“He had had much experience of physicians, and said 'the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not'.”
― Mark Twain, Following the Equator: A Journey Around the World
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“Do something everyday that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.”
― Mark Twain
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“Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done.”
― Mark Twain
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“Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.”
― Mark Twain
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“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them have never happened.”
― Mark Twain
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“The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seeing eye pierces through and reads the heart and the soul, finding there capacities which the outside didn't indicate or promise, and which the other kind of eye couldn't detect.”
― Mark Twain, Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc
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“Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.”
― Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
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“Let us not be too particular. It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than none at all.”
― Mark Twain
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“We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it and stop there lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again and that is well but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.”
― Mark Twain
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“Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.”
― Mark Twain
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“A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.”
― Mark Twain
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“Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog.”
― Mark Twain
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“If voting made any difference they wouldn't let us do it.”
― Mark Twain
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“She remained both girl and woman to the last day of her life. Under a grave and gentle exterior burned inextinguishable fires of sympathy, energy, devotion, enthusiasm, and absolutely limitless affection.”
― Mark Twain
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“All I care to know about a man is that he is a human being... he can't be any worse.”
― Mark Twain
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“I can last two months on a good compliment.”
― Mark Twain
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“Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.”
― Mark Twain
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“Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.”
― Mark Twain
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“Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement.”
― Mark Twain
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“Never be haughty to the humble, never be humble to the haughty.”
― Mark Twain
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“What is joy without sorrow? what is success without failure? what is a win without a loss? what is health without illness? you have to experience each if you are to appreciate the other. there is always going to be suffering. it’s how you look at your suffering, how you deal with it, that will define you.”
― Mark Twain
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“It's not what you don't know that kills you, it's what you know for sure that ain't true.”
― Mark Twain
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“You can't reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.”
― Mark Twain
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“Human pride is not worthwhile; there is always something lying in wait to take the wind out of it.”
― Mark Twain
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“December is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February.”
― Mark Twain
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“Just when I thought I was learning how to live, 'twas then I realized I was learning how to die.”
― Mark Twain
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Keywords: Mark Twain Quotes, Quotations, Sayings, Inspirational, Intuition, Wisdom, Motivational, Life, Journey, Awakening, Spiritual, affirmations, UK, South Africa,
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